weather report

Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.

As you might have heard, celebrations throughout Pennsyltucky, led by men wearing tuxedos and top hats, took place this morning. Crowds gathered around the habitats of groundhogs, while towns without their own groundhog mascot chose to rise before the sun and meet at their local lodge, all anticipating the prediction of how much longer this winter will continue. Some folks may rely on Super Doplar Radar, but Pennsyltuckians still choose the instinctive, scientific technology that these fine furry creatures possess. Many were dismayed to hear that there will be six more weeks of wintry weather ahead.

Wal-Marts and Sam's Clubs are packed with shoppers this weekend as they batten down the hatches and stock up on paper and canned goods. Alarmed residents were overheard discussing the purchase of a cow and chicken as milk and eggs are about to become rare commodities.